


Decisions

by TheQuietAwakening



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, Family, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21523903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQuietAwakening/pseuds/TheQuietAwakening
Summary: Narcissa Malfoy had always been the perfect pure-blood wife, quietly supporting her husband in the shadows. The war had been a miserable time for her and her family, but she had hoped Voldemort's defeat would finally allow them to move forward. Once again attempting to stand by her family, she must now make her own decisions on who to support.
Relationships: Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy
Kudos: 11





	Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, Round 3.
> 
> Theme: Travel
> 
> Chaser 1: write about a character who spends most of their time behind the scenes, but eventually gets their moment to shine.
> 
> Optional prompts: (object) snow, (genre) tragedy, (poem) A Friend – Gillian Jones
> 
> This is a repost, but I thought I'd keep the prompts and themes that were the inspiration for my story.  
> Let me know what you think!

_Severus,_

_Yesterday, I learned some rather displeasing news. Lucius thinks it is a wonderful thing, but he is too proud to see the truth. I held such hopes for after the war. I thought that if all went well for our family as it did before, it would change things, that Draco would finally be able to live the life he wanted for himself. You told me not to hold such high expectations, and you were right, of course. I don't know why I ever believed such foolish notions that Lucius might change his mind._

_I wish you were able to be here. I need someone to talk to, someone who understands. One day, perhaps we'll have an eternity to catch up._

_As always, I hope you've found the happiness you were never able to find here._

_Narcissa._

Narcissa took a deep breath before slowly letting it escape, hoping the rising despair would be blown away with it. It wasn't. She swallowed down the sadness, replacing the quill in its stand and folded the letter in three equal parts. Her fingers trembled as they softly traced the surface of the parchment. Perhaps it was a cruel form of self-punishment to continue writing to Severus.

Slipping the letter from the desk, she carried it over to the large wooden box that held her jewelry beside the bed. Every time Narcissa went out on the town or to a party, she would remember him. Raising her wand to the side of the box, she silently levitated the top compartment to reveal a hidden one beneath and placed the letter with all the others.

Even though she knew it was a silly, nonsensical thing to do, she just couldn't help herself. Severus would never receive the letters or be able to read them, but it made her feel just a little bit more free to get the weight of what her life had become off her chest.

Severus had been a miserable man, simply crushed by everything the world had thrown at him, and by his own choices. She too was trapped in a life she'd never dreamed could be her reality, nor her son's, and so, the two friends had been miserable together. Narcissa liked to think that their friendship may have let a little light into the darkness that was Severus' life as it did to hers.

As she'd watched and supported her husband while her world had gone up in flames, Severus had been there to lend an ear. He'd been the one person she could talk to about her desperate situations who would not condemn her for her misgivings of the Dark Lord's plans.

Narcissa smiled as she recalled some of his sarcastic remarks. She wondered if he knew how those cynical statements had lightened her dark moods and pessimistic outlooks. Oh, how she needed one of those conversations now.

A pop of Apparition behind her captured her attention.

"Master Lucius wishes your presence in his study," the squeaky voice of the elf declared.

"Very well," she said, smoothing her robes with the palms of her hands.

Narcissa cleared her throat so her emotion would not show, lifted her chin, and left the room with all the grace a Malfoy woman should exude.

As she made her way to Lucius' study, her shoes clicking rhythmically on the hardwood floor, she wondered what her husband could want this time. He had become obsessed with rebuilding his company and his reputation. It was all he ever talked about; all he ever had his sights set on anymore. He had been blinded once again by his quest for power and influence.

Narcissa wasn't sure how much more of this she could stand by, support, and once again watch while her son's life was determined for him. She smiled and shook her head as she remembered the vast number of times she had discussed this very thing with Severus.

_Then don't._

She rolled her eyes as she heard his voice in her head. As if she hadn't already considered the possibility.

_Do something. Anything. Or else just be a miserable git like the rest of us._

It wasn't that easy. This was her family, and she had an obligation to be loyal and stand by the decisions that her husband made.

_What of Draco then? Are you going to condemn him to become his father?_

That was the last thing Narcissa wanted, but she had an obligation-

_Who ever cared for those?_

There were traditions to be followed. A wife simply did not go against her husband. It was how a pure-blood family had always run.

_Hogwash._

She could practically see the annoyance on his face. He was always right, though. Just because something was tradition didn't make it the best course of action in every situation. Narcissa had supported her husband and all of his devastating decisions through two wars and the aftermath of each. One moment of rebellion to save her son, which ended up saving them all, was quickly forgotten in the scheme of rebuilding, and Narcissa went back to silent support from the sidelines.

_His decisions become your decisions when you choose to do nothing about them. I should know._

If only she had listened to him when he had been alive. Everyone might have been better off. Severus was the only one who had known, and now she could see how much he truly wanted her to be free. Even when she had been making the very same mistakes he had, he had stood by her and given her the best advice he could offer.

As Narcissa neared the study, she froze, hearing two voices penetrating the heavy door.

"You will take over this company!" Lucius roared.

"You mean the one smeared with the blood on your hands, the one dragged through the mud after the war! You must think I'm mad to take on a sinking ship!" Draco shouted back.

"It will be restored. I am handing you the greatest honour you will ever receive to be the head of it!"

"I don't want it. I am a grown wizard now, and I want my own life, not yours handed to me on a rusty old platter."

"Perhaps you won't get a choice." Lucius' voice had become more calmly determined, yet firmer and all the more terrifying.

"What are you saying? You're going to force me to take over? Going to use an Imperius, are you?" Narcissa could hear the disgust in her son's tone. "What would Mother think of you then?"

"She never has to know."

Her breath caught in her throat. Would he really do it? Was he so far gone?

"You are a vile, evil old man. I'm just sorry I never realized until after you'd destroyed my childhood," Draco spat. "I idolized you as a child, respected you more than anyone else. No longer."

Narcissa heard the _whoosh_ of the Floo and knew that Draco had left. Her heart pounded in her chest. She had to make her choice now, and it was one between her husband and her son.

With a deep breath, she composed herself, ready to enter the fire that was consuming her family once again.

Narcissa knocked on the door to alert Lucius to her presence, and it swiftly swung open, revealing the disheveled man, slumped in his armchair, a glass of firewhisky clutched in his hand.

"You requested me," she announced, willing her voice to remain steady.

"Ah, yes." He paused for a moment, as though he had forgotten. "Right. I need you to talk to your son. Give him some sense."

"I see." She needed to tread carefully. Lucius could become quite unpredictable when he had been drinking.

"Do you not think he should have all of this? Everything I have worked so hard to restore?"

"Lucius, dear, do you think it's the right timing? There's still a ways to go in the public's eye," Narcissa suggested.

"The timing couldn't be more perfect. He's what the company needs. Draco's the Malfoy who's redeemed himself, even got his in with the war heroes, the Potter boy and that Mudblood. Oh, and he'll be there to pick up the pieces after it all goes down. Then, he'll take over, and everyone will worship us once more." He was speaking nonsense.

"What are you talking about? What's going to happen?" she asked calmly.

She knew her son had done very well for himself, had worked his way up, proving himself in the Ministry these past few years, and had overcome some of the rivalries from his childhood. Narcissa hadn't been fond of him spending more time with that Granger girl, her blood status had the potential to stain the Malfoy line. However, it did give him the opportunities he needed to become influential all on his own. She had noticed that when he spent time with her, he seemed brighter, a bit less miserable, and even though Granger was a danger to their pure-blood status, Narcissa did want Draco to be happy. She wasn't really sure how to feel about the friendship.

"I've set it all up, so you don't have to worry about any of it." Lucius knocked back the rest of his drink and clunked it down on the table beside him. He stood up quite suddenly, wavered a bit, and took a step toward her. "That Mudblood soon won't be a problem anymore."

Narcissa's blood ran cold. He couldn't possibly mean he had arranged to have her killed. Then again, Lucius was capable of anything, especially now.

"You don't think Draco would be upset?" she asked, struggling to maintain her poise.

"The boy will get over it. We'll get him a nice pure-blood woman, and he'll forget all about that trash."

Narcissa's mind whirled. The choice was already made for her. It was obvious Lucius' obsession with power had destroyed any care for Draco's wellbeing. He was too far gone to stand behind now. She could no longer remain in the shadows hoping the world would go on smoothly around her. She could no longer be Lucius' perfect trophy wife.

_Act. Act now._

Alright. Now, she would listen. Now, she would finally take her friend's advice.

"No."

"Excuse me?" Her husband's brows raised in disbelief.

"You have put Draco's happiness last for long enough." She would stand her own ground this time, and it would be behind Draco, not him. "This company is not raising from the dead, and you will not play with my son like your own property."

"Oh, but he is. And so are you."

She swallowed, fear gripping her, choking her.

_Don't back down. You've made your choice. Now, stick. With. It._

Narcissa held onto Severus' voice, wishing that he could stand with her now.

"That's where you're wrong," she declared. "You know, I thought you would change. After the ruin of the war, I thought it would wake you up, but it hasn't. I will not stand here and condone what you are doing to our son."

Lucius was stunned into silence.

"I'm leaving." The words were out of her mouth before she even had time to process what she was saying.

He laughed at that. "Where would you possibly go? You have nothing without me."

Lucius was right. If she left him, she would be leaving everything behind with nothing to turn to. Then again, she had realized there was nothing left for her at the manor either.

"So be it."

Without warning, he slapped her, hard, across the face. She gasped at the stinging pain.

_Wand. Now._

Without a second thought, her wand was out and aimed at Lucius, as his eyes burned with a raging fire.

He simply chuckled and moved toward her. "You couldn't hurt me."

On that point, he was right. No matter what he did, she would always see a hint of the man he used to be, the man she loved. She would always see his strong demeanor, yet gentle touch. She would see the way he looked upon Draco with all the pride of a new father. She would see the respect in his eyes when he saw her. That man was dead. He had been devoured by the cruel shell that stood in his place now. Narcissa had always believed the man she loved was still alive within and every once in a while, he would show his face. Now, she still couldn't let go of that small hope, and it was her downfall.

Lucius simply plucked the wand from her fingers, held it between his two fists, and with a smirk on his face, snapped it in two. Narcissa felt the loss immediately, a black hole left within her where the bond had been.

_Run._

Narcissa turned and sprinted from the room, her robes billowing behind her as she made her escape. She heard a smash as the wall beside her was blown apart.

_Keep moving. He's drunk. He won't be able to hit a moving target._

She continued running, down the hall, down the stairs, almost to the door. Glancing behind her, she saw him following, grabbing at the railing for support as he stumbled down the steps after her.

Narcissa swung open the door and ducked just as a curse hit the window above her head, showering shards of glass down around her. She didn't stop. Though she heard him screaming her name from the doorway, she kept running. The icy air seemed to burn her lungs as she fought for breath, her shoes filling with wet snow.

Even as she made it through the gate, she kept on.

Narcissa used to love the snow, the way it hushed the sounds around it, the quiet crunch a footstep made breaking through its surface, the look of pure joy on Draco's face that first winter he went out to play. She had loved it until the day it had become covered in blood, when the Dark Lord had stolen, even that simple pleasure from her.

Now, the snow welcomed her with its icy embrace. She had nothing but the robes on her back, nowhere to go, her entire world collapsing around her. At least she was free.

When she was far enough away, Narcissa fell to her knees, feeling the cold sink into her very bones. Free, but at what cost? She pulled her arms around herself as though to hold her broken state together. Would she die out here, alone, disgraced?

_Not alone._

Ah yes, the voice of a dead friend in her head. What wonderful company.

_Get up and stop sulking. If not, we may have that chat sooner than you'd planned._

Wind whipping through her hair, Narcissa got to her feet and trudged her way forward. Two of the three people she loved most in the world were gone and were never coming back. Over twenty-five years of marriage were now broken and destroyed. With nothing left but one person, she trudged on for him, and she had to survive to put things right.

She would not allow death to overtake her now and destroy any more of Draco's light. Her world might have crumbled down around her, but she would still trudge through this frozen hell forever if it meant protecting her son.


End file.
